Wednesday, June 01, 2016

The Turmoils of Blogging

If you're a regular reader of my blog (DO U EXIST?), you may have noticed  that A) I'm prone to blogging hiatuses and B) I've started posting more of my writing. Why is this relevant I hear you ask? Let us discuss.

I've been blogging since I was 15, but lucky for you I've deleted all posts dating back to then because believe me, they are not to be witnessed by the eye of anyone who likes fashion. I was 15 a good five years ago now, and in those five years I've undergone quite the transformation. When I began blogging I had long curly hair reaching down my below my chesticles, had a mouth full of braces and wore very ill fitting skinny jeans - so yeah, a lot has changed.

In these five years of blogging, I've had such a love hate relationship with it. I loved being creative, taking photos and designing my blog but in doing so I'd get stressed. I'd get stressed about numbers, outfits and the regularity of my posting. While it felt amazing to be featured multiple times on teenvogue.com as a 17 year old girl, I'd often not feel happy about my content and the fact I didn't have many followers. All I wanted was a successful blog, thus I'd go for months without posting when that wasn't happening. It got to the point where I was so stressed, I deleted my first Xen's Imagination blog and started a brand new site under the name Fashion Nation because I thought "Xen's Imagination just doesn't reflect who I am now as a 17 year old human being attending sixth form college. It's so 15 year old Xenia". After a few months under that name I decided to change it back to Xen's Imagination because I felt pigeon holed by having fashion in the blog name and it's safe to say I was bit of a blogging mess.

My biggest hiatus yet came last year in which I didn't blog from April til January just gone. I became too much of a stress head. Going to a fashion school there is actually a huge stigma around being a blogger because so many people there are arty and like to fly under the radar blah blah blah. So I eventually I stopped. I didn't want to be a blogger. I didn't want people to see me online and think LOL, even though no one did. People actually liked my blog and I was often being asked to start again (and not just by my mum).

So come January 2016, after many lectures from my sister about sticking at stuff, I started back at it. But this time it's different. A) I'm still blogging and it's now June (can I get a hell yeah bbz), B) I've stopped stressing, hence iphone pics and C) I've started posting new content that I'm passionate about. I've been writing regularly for years now but have never taken it over to my blog out of fear of no one caring what I have to say. I have a lot of opinions in me trying to get out and my blog is my space to share them. I'm in control. If people don't want to read them they don't have to but at least when I do post I feel happy with what I've created. 

I think blogging requires a certain level of confidence and self-assurance because essentially what you are giving the people is you. My Instagram is short and sweet but my blog is where I go in depth, where I give way more of myself and that's kinda scary. I struggled with blogging for so many years because I wasn't self-assured. It's taken me five years to pluck up the courage to write pieces like this, and believe me I've tried a lot in the past. Instead of using my blog as a means to get successful or what not, I'm just using it as a means to share cool stuff. If I wear a hella cool outfit one day, you can be sure I'll want to post it. If I suddenly become inspired to write something at 3am, you can be sure I'll post that too.

I'm done trying to frantically plan brand new outfits everyday and trying not to wear something too often because that's not a true reflection of my personal style. Fashion blogs are for recording what clothes you love to wear and I just so happen to love wearing the same pair of jeans three to four times a week because that's just how I am. I feel like fashion has evolved past the "YOU CAN NEVER WEAR SOMETHING TWICE" stage because let's face it, that's not practical and will end up being a tad expensive. Maybe I'm committing a huge blogging faux pas by wearing the same clothes often and publishing written pieces but I want to play by my rules now, you feel me?

I felt inspired to write this because I posted 8 times this May and that's the most I've ever posted in a month in the history of ever. I'm pretty chuffed with it because I didn't even notice for ages. I've not felt stressed about blogging for months and have a brand new design so all in all I'm doing pretty darn fine if you ask me. I also reached 400 followers so I'm basically famous now *pretentiously flicks hair out of face*

Thanks to those of you who read and enjoy my blog, u guyz r rlly kool.
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4 comments

  1. *raises hand* I'm a regular reader! I love that you posted this since I'm currently struggling with the same thing. Reading this, though, has inspired to want to stress less about who's reading my blog, my friends finding out or whether my opinions are even worth writing about - so thanks Xen! Keep up the greatness :)

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  2. Hey! I exist! I love your blog and I really hope you continue to keep writing and being so cool. X

    www.januartakalou.blogspot.com

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  3. love this Xenia, i've been feeling the same for bloody ages. Started blogging in 2013 and stopped for a hella long time, though i'm finally feeling like I want to get into it again on my own terms!
    Sara x

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  4. I remember following you back then and thought "damn this chick is cool!". Now I think you're even cooler for writing this. I can't agree with you more with "so many people there are arty and like to fly under the radar blah blah blah", hell yeah I went to a design course at university and you've just summarised the reasons why I stopped blogging in a sentence! After reading this I have decided to start blogging again, thank you! :)

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